To my little boy: Your guide to such a big world.

You're going to stumble to get to where you really want to be, and it's always going to take time and a lot of patience, but you will get there. Never give up because you are waiting on something particular to happen. It is always worth the wait. Always. Patience is key, and you must have a lot of it to get through this life.

Love will find you. It will make you or break you, and sometimes the break is beyond your control. Your little heart will pull you in so many different directions, but if you were loving for the right reasons, you will never love in vain. Heartache is only temporary, and you will one day find someone who will make any and all of those breaks seem as if they weren't so drastic after all. Love is complicated and sometimes messy, but I can promise you that it is a complicated, messy, INCREDIBLE part of this world.

This world is full of differences. We are not all the same. Each and every person on this Earth is living a separate life from yours, and they are all fighting their own battle and dealing with their own struggle. It is your job to always be accepting of these differences. To never judge anyone for how or why they do the things they do. You should always allow for other's shortcomings. In this life, if you remember anything at all that I tell you, remember to be kind and tolerant. You are not the only human being that deserves love. Everyone does.

Never make rash decisions when you are feeling emotional. When sadness, anger or guilt get the best of you, talk to someone. Talk to me or your dad, a friend or any adult you trust. We are all here for you and I promise that talking about the problem will help more than any quick, thoughtless decision you could've made.

I pray that you always remember how much you are cared for. There will never be anything in this world you can do that would make me or your daddy stop loving you. I know there will be times when you think you hate us, but we are only doing the things we do out of love for you. Because we are protecting you and want the absolute best for you. We will never intentionally hurt you. All of our decisions come with your best interest in mind. 

Remember to work hard for what you want. Never expect things to come easy, or to be handed to you. Do your very best to understand that good things can come out of a struggle, and that there will be times when you DO have to struggle. It is not a punishment, but a part of learning responsibility and work ethic. You will find that the harder you work the more it will pay off, and that any battle you fight to better yourself and your goals will always be worth it.

Never take anything for granted. People, places, privileges, finances, moments, all of it. Take none of it as if you will get it again tomorrow. It can be taken away as quick as it was given. Live every second like it's your last and cherish anything and everything possible. It will make you a better, more diligent person. 

I want you to see the best in people. I know when someone does you wrong or mistreats you, all you will see is the negative. It is a difficult task to overcome adversity and still manage to see the light. But try. Being positive and seeing the good in a person or bad situation will mold and shape you into a more honorable human being. It will do wonders for your growth, and prepare you for adulthood. 

Be honest. The truth is sometimes hard to say, and can often be brutal at times, but never lie to hide it. Be kind, but say what is on your mind. Never be afraid to speak opinions or be realistic. The only person you ever have to answer for is yourself, and as long as you are honest with yourself and others, that will never be a battle you have to fight. 

Don't have regrets. There will be decisions that you make in your life that you aren't always sure of, and you may second guess yourself a lot - but never let those guesses become regrets. Everything you do and don't do will have pros and cons, and it is part of life and human nature to wonder what would have happened had you done things differently. But no matter what, those choices made you who you are, and you should never regret them. At some point, the decisions you make will be exactly what you want and although they may not always give you the results you had planned on, it's going to be ok because life is what happens while you were busy making those plans.

Please hold onto your dreams. Strive to hit goals and do all the things you want do. Never allow others to put damper on shootings for the stars. Remember that you are smart and strong and that you can do or be anything with the right mind set. Stay ambitious, stay motivated and stay focused. You can do anything your little heart desires.

Trust your instincts. If something feels like it's wrong it probably is. As you get older you will learn more and more about the phrase, "go with your gut." You know better than anyone what is right and wrong for you. You don't have to do anything that you don't feel good about and if your friends are really your friends, they will understand that. Some of the most difficult decisions you will ever make will face you during youth. It will be tough to make good choices, and not follow the crowd. But just remember that you are not any less of a person should you choose to walk away. Keep a good head on your shoulders and trusting your instincts will always be simple.

You're going to make mistakes throughout life. They happen, and you shouldn't be ashamed. Everyone messes up, it's how we choose to fix them and move on that really matters. Mistakes give you character. They give you experience, and experience is a hard teacher to learn from. It gives you the test first and the lesson later. Be prepared. Just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you have failed or that life is over. It just means you are human. It is ok to be human. :)  

What I want you to know most is that I would do anything for you. I love you and will always portect you. I would give you the world if I only could. You are my child, my flesh and blood. I would die for you. I want you to know that I write these words because I want your life to be amazing. To let you know that you are never alone in all these things. I make time to write these things because you deserve it. You deserve to know how much love I feel for you everyday. I will always be proud of you. Please take these words and keep them close, no matter where you go. Keep them as close as I keep all of our wonderful memories together.

I love you little boy, and all your future siblings. You are all the best thing that could ever happen to me and I haven't even met some of you yet. :)

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Working a double: For the not so stay at home Mom

There have been a lot of blog posts about women who stay at home to mother their children. In fact, I read a very good one just a few days ago about a man who says he can't afford for his wife to stay at home because of all the things she does as a SAHM that naturally, go unpaid. It is most definitely a great read, and it gave me an idea for this post. An idea to do things a little different.

I want to write for the working Mothers. I am currently a stay at home Mom, and have been since my son was born. My wonderful husband has given me the luxury of seeing him grow and change everyday and it has been a great experience for me and for my little boy, who is now almost fifteen months old. But this year, I began pursuing my PHD and was hired at a new job, all the while somehow continuing to take care of my daily SAHM duties. It is HARD. I have been given a pretty clear little glimpse of what it is like for the working Mother, and I want to write for her. 

It takes a wonderful, strong, and selfless woman to be a working Mother. To get up every morning and go to a job when you have a child you really, honestly don't want to leave takes a Mother who is always willing to do what is best for her family. I know that there are some women out there who don't mind going to work and leaving their children and that is perfectly ok, too. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your time apart. Everyone needs that break. But, regardless, I want all working Mothers out there to know how appreciated and admired you are, and how much I think this world takes you for granted, and that is what this is about. 

As a SAHM, I feel like I work non-stop. I feel as if I clocked in the day my son was born and that I'll never clock out, and that's the truth. That is reality, because no matter what, he will always be my baby. I will always be on the clock to care for him, no questions asked. A working Mother is no different. She takes care of her child all night, then gets up, pulls herself together to look presentable and gets everyone cleaned up and out the door to where they need to be on time. She then works all day to provide for her family. When her time there is finished, she clocks out - and immediately clocks into her next job without a single moment wasted... Mom. She never clocks out. She is constantly working to do and be the best she can for whoever expects it of her. And a lot of people expect it of her. Being at a job and under pressure constantly is a lot to take on while you have a child at home who also has needs. It is a long, never ending to-do list, and juggling a life that requires both a career and children can be frustrating but at the same time so rewarding.

After having given up her entire day to bring home a paycheck that sometimes doesn't seem worth it, a working Mother swaps her hat and picks up her child as if she never really left. She is a multitasker and a good one, at that. She is able to totally change her focus to what is most important to her, her baby. That tiny, sweet piece of perfection that makes even the worst days seem not so bad. Even with a job, still being able to come home and cook dinner and get all the laundry done is an accomplishment. I stay at home and there are days when I just cannot bring myself to cook a meal for my husband and son, and we end up in the drive thru at the closest fast food restaurant. So, with that being said, I applaud any Mother who can leave her job and come home totally prepared to start a hot meal for her family. 

I think highly of a working Mother for many reasons. Whether she wants to be at her job or not, she is brave and smart, and doing all the right things for her family. She makes sacrifices each day that majority of the time go unnoticed, but here and now I want these Mothers to know that I notice. I see it. I know how hard it must be to be away from your children 5-7 days a week, and I think you have to have a pretty bad ass level of strength and confidence to do what you do. You put your child's needs first, and that makes an unbelievably good and successful Mom.

I have a lot of friends who are working Mothers, and I hear their situations, scenarios, and sometimes pleas for a life of just being able to be with their child everyday. For whatever reason, they are unable to do it, and it breaks my heart to know that not everyone has the SAHM opportunity available to them, because it really is a life changing experience and I think every Mom should be able to have the chance to do it at some point during Motherhood. 

I am blessed to know some intelligent, compassionate and professional working Moms who deserve to be acknowledge and told they are appreciated for what they do. Their children are going to be so bright and so thankful for having such amazing role models who showed them that a great work ethic and reliability are qualities to be thankful for. SAHM's please don't think that I am leaving your hard work out because I am one myself, as I said before. We work just as hard everyday, we just don't get a paycheck. ;)

So, you can't afford for your wife to be a stay at home Mother, eh? Well, you can't afford for her to work, either. She drives to work, is there all day doing what she needs to do to get that paycheck, drives home, washes clothes, cooks, cleans, takes the trash out, bathes the kids, gets them in bed and then before ever thinking about going to bed and passing out for the night, asks her husband if there is anything else she needs to take care of before morning. That is who she is - always putting others before herself. She is both an at home Mom and a working Mom, and her job is just as difficult. Take her out for a date night, slip  a massage gift certificate into the seat of her car, or just simply tell her how APPRECIATED what she does is. Tell her that her hard work and love for her child is the most beautiful thing you've had the pleasure of witnessing everyday and that you wouldn't make it without her constant efforts. She deserves to know how important she is. 

Sometimes words mean more than gifts, and maybe before she switches shifts tonight, you could find the time to say a few. After all, it wouldn't be normal if her 15 minute break included silence. ;) 

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