Your happiness is never negotiable

You are never wrong for doing what is best for you. It's ok to stand up, it's ok to walk away, and it's ok to remember what you deserve. If you need to pack your bags, pack them. If you need time to think, take that time. Taking care of yourself is and always should be a priority. If you ever feel like your heart is breaking; If you feel like you are simply settling, you get to make the decision of whether or not it's time to move on. You get to decide how far you will go. Mountains were created to climb. If you feel as if you are always in the same place, meandering through the confusing, chaotic trails of life, and you want to make a change, you can. Stop telling yourself that it's not possible. The difficulties and hardships you face today are the stepping stones to what can and will make you better tomorrow. No one has the right to belittle, or toy with your emotions. Some choices [and people] will exhaust you, hurt you, but most importantly, teach you. If you can look back on your life and say that the difficult people in your life didn't teach you something, you weren't paying attention to the right things. They may not have taught you how to eat your vegetables, or how to fix your vehicle when it breaks down, but I guarantee they taught you what you absolutely do not have to tolerate. I bet they taught you a teensy bit more about your worth, and your value. I bet they taught you a bit more about just how strong and motivated you are. You can go nowhere fast, or everywhere in the blink of an eye. No situation is permanent. Loving yourself, and the decisions you make for that love is so important. You owe no one any sort of explanation. One of the most important things about getting to the good stuff, is enduring the bad stuff. It's about conquering your fears, problem solving, and learning all of the things you wouldn't have otherwise. Don't spend your days trying to figure out why someone treats you so terrible. You will drive yourself crazy. Don't spend your days miserable, wondering how in the world you didn't know who this person really was in the beginning. Sometimes, people are who they are - the mask just simply falls off. You can't change people. They have to want to change for themselves. You can't make someone love you, and you can't make someone see how their actions are impacting others. Unfortunately, some can see the world clear as day, but are still so very blind. In this world, you must yourself, love your choices, and love the people who love you back. Make times for the things that count. You will only be given so many moments in this lifetime, don't waste them. It's so easy to watch life pass you by when you are sad, and broken. Remember, Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." You are responsible for your happiness. Spend your days chasing it, craving it, fighting for it and catching it. Spend your days for you, because you matter. Your happiness matters. 

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Yes, I'm a mom. And my marriage is still a priority.

One of the things I love most about being married is having a best friend, always by my side. I love knowing that no matter what I do, I'm always going to have someone to share things with. The good, the bad, and the unexpected. I love having a partner, someone to make me laugh, and create everlasting memories with. Despite what the skeptics say, it truly is a wonderful thing to spend your life committed to loving someone. I'm so thankful every single day that I got to marry my husband. My world would be so different, and so dull, without him. I've been very fortunate to have such an great relationship. From the beginning, it's been a pretty fantastic journey. 

My husband and I lived together for two years prior to having our first born. We were pretty spontaneous, made a lot of rash decisions, and had a pretty upbeat lifestyle. We liked it that way. It was fun to fly by the seat of our pants from time to time. I spent a lot of time cooking the two of us a fancy dinner, planning out date nights and sprucing up things when we would spend nights in. I loved to get dressed up and put on makeup. It made me feel good when my then boyfriend, now husband, gawked at me. When we had our first son, I knew that becoming a mother would consume a large amount of the time I was able to spend just being a girlfriend/wife before. I was ok with that, because I knew that it was simply part of the process of starting a life together and having a family. It was part of transitioning into not just a mother, but a responsible adult. 

The first year of juggling parenthood, and marriage was pretty hard. Harder than I had expected. I was tired, hormonal, side tracked, and overwhelmed. Not to mention trying to recover from carrying and birthing a 9 lb baby. We had to cut off communication with my in-laws about 5 months into my oldest son's first year, and my parents live in Texas, so it was a tough time to be coping with the newborn stage. Not to brag, but, I like to think I took it like a champ. My kids were both amazing as babies. I got lucky. Most nights, I got to sleep 7-8 hours or more. But, it was still a trial to not have any sort of help during the day. Some days, I just wanted relief to take a half hour nap, because the 24-7 thing was getting exhausting. A trip to the store alone would've been nice every now and again. Motherhood is lonely when you've had to move away from everyone and everything you've ever known. I hadn't made any friends in Oklahoma because as a former Texan, full-time mother, and college student, I wasn't able to get out much. I spent all my days doing homework, soaking bottles or hurrying to wash clothes before the spit up soured. During this time, I gave my husband a run for his money. My mind was racing. I was too tired to think, and slacking in the marriage department, big time. I had a hard time putting wife AND mother on the same [already] spinning plate. I struggled with putting effort into my appearance, worried about my weight, and the way pregnancy had changed my body, and lets not even get into how off the wall my moods were. I had forgotten how to be more than just a mother. I had forgotten what it was like to love that feeling of being a couple with my husband. Everything in the world was on my mind except for my marriage. Still, my loving husband put up with me, and made me feel like it would all be ok. 

Don't get me wrong, becoming a mother is one of my proudest moments. I feel like I'm always learning new things as mom. It's an ever changing journey that I'm really enjoying. My kids make me smile, and warm my heart on even the darkest of days. But, I've always loved being a wife, too. I've loved the idea of it. The thought of it. The experiences. As a little girl, I always had deep admiration for women who were fortunate enough to be truly good at the whole 'be a wife' thing. It wasn't until I got married that I realized, it's not about being "good" at it. It's about what you do to make it good, to keep it good. It's about where your focus is, and how well you distribute your attention and time. I can't say it's always the easiest thing to figure it all out, but there has never been anything in the world that has made me question my role as a wife. Before my kids and their needs devoured my time, it meant everything to me to be the best wife I could possibly be, and one night, it dawned on me. It still meant the world to me. I had just let myself get preoccupied on one specific area of my life. I didn't have to forget I was a wife just because I became a mother. It was up to me to make it a priority. Sure, time for fancy dinners and movies became a little more scarce, and I had other things to spend time on, but that didn't mean I couldn't set aside particular moments, and certain times to just devote myself to being a wife to my husband. I absolutely adore my kids. They are a huge light in my life. But so is my husband - So is our marriage. Marriage to me has always been an important thing to acknowledge. I don't like to let things overwhelm me, and cloud my desire to be there for my husband. Motherhood is so important, and such a great thing to devote your life and time to, but it doesn't mean that passion should no longer exist. I feel like a large part of being a good mom is showing your children a good, positive and sturdy relationship. A different sort of smile lights up my face when my husband and I get to spend time together, just us. It is a whole new level of joy. I guess it would have to be, given our only nights out alone happen maybe twice a year. :) My husband and I don't get the luxury weekend date night, or the long trips away. We rarely have time to ourselves. I won't lie to you, it's pretty brutal. It puts a strain on creativity, and let me tell you, nothing puts a road block on thinking outside the box like not having a babysitter. Especially being two people who really long for that time together. But, we've been pretty incredible at still finding ways to make our relationship and alone time a must. We have learned to make our own ideas. Our kids won't be small forever, and we know that. A lot of our time now is spent simply cherishing and savoring these moments. Admiring one another. Squeezing in togetherness when we can, and making the most of our time as a family. I want my children to see two people who love and respect each other. Two people who always go out of their way to make time for one another. It's important to me to show them a great example of what marriage should be like.

It's never simple to master the art of wearing multiple hats. Being married and having children are two very underestimated jobs. You do so many different things, and deal with a mess of chaos on the regular. There are going to be some weeks you forget who you are, because you are so focused on what everyone else needs. Some days you will be consumed by a pile of laundry, work, school or just life in general. It will happen. But, try not to forget to devote time to being a spouse, too. Single out a few moments every evening to nurture your marriage so that it can grow, and thrive, even when life is busy. It has so many benefits. I have found that my kids make me happy, but that a large portion of my happiness also comes from the time I get to spend with my husband. During the time we spend together, I get to laugh with him. Enjoy a meal with him. Watch a movie, our favorite show, or hell, some nights we just fold laundry together. On many occasions, we just sit and talk. I'll never be ashamed of making my role as a wife a priority. I am always striving to be better at it everyday. I'll never be the perfect example of what a wife should be, and that's ok. I'm doing what I can. When you are on the twisting, turning road of wife and mom, it's all you can do. It's important to never forget yourself and your needs. Remember to take time for the things you love. ALL the things you love. 

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Assumption is NOT consent

It's not your fault if you were at a party. 

It's not your fault if your skirt was short.

It's not your fault if you left your drink unattended.

It's not your fault if he was your boyfriend.

It's not your fault if he was your husband.

It's not your fault if it was a relative. 

It's not your fault if he was older.

It's not your fault if you were drinking.

It's not your fault if you were uneducated.

It's not your fault if you are.

It's not your fault if you kissed him first.

It's not your fault if you really liked him.

It's not your fault if he was attractive.

It's not your fault if you trusted him.

It's not your fault if you knew him personally.

It's not your fault if you didn't. 

It's not your fault if you changed your mind.

It's not your fault if he said it was.

It's not your fault if you loved him.

It's not your fault if no one saw.

It's not your fault if they did.

It's not your fault if you were scared.

It's not your fault if you were silent.

It's not your fault if you believed him.

It's not your fault if you wore makeup.

It's not your fault if you were sleeping.

It's not your fault if you were young.

It's not your fault if you had slept with someone before.

It's not your fault if you hadn't.

It's not your fault if you were alone.

It's not your fault if you think you could've done more.

It's not your fault if you're straight, gay, bi, transgender, gender fluid, male, female, etc. 

It's not your fault if you were blamed.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. That is a rape victim every 98 seconds. 

There are many ways of saying NO. Learn about them. No victim is to blame. Educate yourself. Sexual assault and rape are what they are. A crime. There are zero justifications. 

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Dear sixteen year old me

Dear sixteen year old me,

Life is hard, but it is not as complicated as you are making it. Slow down, take your time, and open your eyes. The problem is, you are paying attention to all the wrong things. You are dying on all the wrong hills. This life really is good, and your future is going to be amazing. Hold on. I promise you it's going to be worth it. 

Give things a chance. Stop second guessing yourself. You might actually be good at whatever you're thinking about trying. Don't sell yourself short of anything. You just might regret it later if you do. 

Let loose and have some fun. Join in. You don't have to be so hard on yourself. You don't have to fall in line with the rest of the world. It's ok to be yourself. I know that you want to work hard, and I know that you want to be smarter, but it's really going to be ok if you give yourself a break. You aren't going to have it together all the time - and I'm here to tell you, 10+ years later, you still won't have your shit 100% together. It's life, and you might as well get used to things being all over the place now.

I wish I could say that you're going to stay close to everyone you are close to now, but unfortunately, that isn't going to happen. You're going to lose people. Friendships will fade. People you thought would always be there will disappear for all sorts of reasons. People you made plans with. People you told everything to. People you couldn't imagine your life without. But, you will learn as time goes on, it's a necessary part of the growing up process. It's a part of the change that comes with adulthood. We all go different directions in life. It's to be expected. You will always carry a different kind of love in your heart for these people. Never lose grip on that love. You may all be in different areas of life right now, some may even be in different parts of the world, but you are still bonded in a way that no one else will ever be bonded. It's a pretty incredible gift. 

Your body is fine. You look fine. And you're going to be fine. You don't need to be perfect. You don't have to be a certain number on the scale to be beautiful. You are beautiful the way you are. You are far too young to spend your time counting calories. Don't make adolescence a heap of misery because you feel like what you already are is not enough. You are enough. There is no real definition of beauty, because diversity is what makes up this world. That's what makes it so great. Obsessing is only killing your happiness, and trust me when I say, you want your happiness alive. 

That mean girl? The bully. The one who tortures you. The one who is only happy if she is making others feel bad about themselves. The one who is tormenting you in the hallway every single day. The one who the teachers let get away with whatever she damn well pleases. DO NOT give her the time of day. DO NOT waste your time trying to understand why she is the way she is. DO NOT give in to her. Do not let her make you feel like you can't get up, and face the day. Your future is bright. So bright. Remember, no matter what, to stay strong. To stay kind, even when it feels brutal to do so. You reap what you sew. You get what you give. And time will have a distinct way of showing you that. 

Don't drink an entire bottle of wine in a two hour time frame. You are a small framed child, who hasn't had many alcohol encounters in your short sixteen years. Plus, I know you ate some of those spicy pickles beforehand and that's not going to feel or taste so great coming up. And mark my words, it will come up. There's plenty of time to enjoy wine later. Trust me. 

Boys. Oh boys. I know right now it seems like having a boyfriend, or a date to the dance, is the most important thing. But trust me when I say, it's not. You have so much time to find the good guy. You have plenty of time to fall in love. I know the heartache hurts, and it's ok to feel it. It's part of growing up. But there is so much joy ahead for that little struggling heart of yours. And since I am in the future, I get to tell you that, you are the luckiest girl in the world. Your teenage relationship attempts, failures and heartbreaks are all part of an extraordinary path that is going to lead you to the right man's arms. A man who is going to love you, unconditionally, for the rest of your life. He will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Yes, you are going to make mistakes with the wrong ones along the way. Yes, you're going to cry. And yes, you're going to have setbacks. But pick yourself up and stay a fighter. This man is going to steal your heart someday, and he's worth pulling through for. 

Cherish the care free moments of your adolescence. Cherish the freedom and the lack of obligation and responsibility. These days are going to fly by quicker than you can imagine. Seize the day. Sleep in. Take twice as many pictures. Read a few more good books. Love, and when the sun rises tomorrow, love some more. Enjoy those long summer nights, laughing with your best friend. The football games. The crowd cheering as you and your cheerleading squad take the field at half time. Spend time with your family, and make extra time for your grandfather. 

Stand up for yourself, and have the courage to walk away when you don't feel comfortable. You are not wrong for doing what is right. Sometimes, the best thing you can say is no. You may lose potential friends, and you may not fit in - that's ok. Fitting in isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway. Besides, I can already tell you that the future wasn't so kind to the ones who felt mighty enough to throw those stones. People will always be critiquing your decisions. There will always be some kind of rumor about you. Embrace who you are, and why you walk away, during those times. Never fear it. And never let anyone make you feel bad for it. It's a rare, but nifty quality to have. 

Listen to your parents. Seriously, listen to them. Stop rolling your eyes. Wipe the smirk off your face. They are right and you are wrong. Majority of the time anyway. :) You'll fight them every chance you can, because you are you, and you feel as if your way is the best way. I hate to break it to you, but, you don't know shit. You are sixteen. They've been around the block. They know a thing or two. And they are trying to understand you. Cut them some slack. Raising a teenager is not easy, especially if they're dealing with more than one at a time. Give them a little credit. 

Right now, you believe so wholeheartedly, and so passionately. You somehow found trust in something because the world expected you to. You are at a vulnerable and naive age - and sadly, that is when you are the perfect prey. Don't jump the gun too soon. You don't have to conform. Don't be afraid to question anything and everything - and never, ever be scared to open your mind. This world is always changing. It's full of so many unique things you haven't quite seen the full potential of yet. Things that hide in the shadows, but shouldn't have to. And unfortunately in a conformed and manipulated world, unconditional kindness and acceptance are frowned upon. There are so many human beings in this world, and they each live a different lifestyle. None of which are wrong, or bad, or deserving of hatred. Always choose love and acceptance, in spite of what others may tell you. You may become the enemy for a while, and I'm sorry it has to be that way, but one of the most incredible things about your beliefs is that they are yours, and yours alone. They always will be. Your beliefs don't belong to any book, or tub of water, or pastor, church, or congregation. They belong to YOU. 

Forgive yourself. I know you're probably sitting in your room, crying, racking your brain over and over again... Listening to that shitty sad mix CD you made for times like these. This may come as news to you: You will screw up. A million times. You are human. You are a human teenager, at that. It's not the end of the world if things don't go exactly as you planned, and all is not lost if you make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. They teach you, and make you a better person. Life is tricky. Sometimes, you get the test first and the lesson later. That will become more clear to you with age. All of the things that seem like such a big deal right now - will seem so small when you look back on them someday. Don't sweat the small stuff. In some cases, you will wish you'd done differently. Other times, you'll be thankful things turned out the way they did. There's a method to this life and all it's madness. Scouts honor.

Also, stay the fuck off of MySpace and Xanga. They are only going to get you in a shit load of trouble. 

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I won't apologize for loving my marriage

My husband and I have always had a great relationship. We are pretty much attached at the hip, and we don't like to do anything without each other. Not because we feel insecure, or obligated, but because we were best friends before we got married. We've always had a bond we couldn't explain. From the time I met him, to this very day, we have spent minimal time away from each other. He's taken work trips, and we actually lived in separate states at the beginning of our relationship, but as soon as we could be together full-time, we were.

I believe the sole foundations of a good marriage are communication, honesty, self-care, and most of all, friendship. Being able to laugh together, make each other feel good, and solve even the toughest of issues without the unnecessary brewing of a heated argument. Granted, that doesn't always happen, it's always a great goal to pursue. But, I get it, we're still human.

One of the most beautiful things I've discovered about marriage is that it's more than just, "someone always being there." I've found myself, and who I really am, through the gift of marriage. I've discovered the things I truly want and need to thrive as a wife and mother, and I've grown attached to my husband helping me figure out all of those things. I love my marriage because I can still have my womanly independence, all the while knowing it is totally acceptable for me to depend on someone else when I need to. 

I was once told that my husband and I were "weird" because he makes it a point to call me daily just to talk. Sometimes, he calls for a minute and other days we talk for an hour. (He has a really great job!) But this person looked down on me, and told me that we weren't normal, because we could carry on a lengthy conversation. Her choice of words were, "you can talk to your husband for an hour?" Almost as if it was unheard of, and shocking, that I enjoyed talks with the man I'm married to. I just sort of sat there, wondering if I should be questioning her, "you mean, you can't?" This person also told me that we were odd because my husband never says anything bad about me. That it's not, "the norm" to have literally no desire to harp on your spouse when everyone else in the conversation is hating on theirs. Obviously, this woman has marriage issues that she is very immature and vocal about, so I didn't take it too much to heart. But I guess, that's another one of those moments when I realized there are very big differences in every marriage. Some people say, "I do," for all the wrong reasons. And some people feel obligated to get married. Some just like the idea of marriage, the idea of the word, "wife." And some... some are just plain unhappy people who cannot be satisfied with or without life long commitments. 

I am not weak, because I sometimes need my spouse to help me stay stable, and strong. I married him because he is my rock. He is who I lean on when I feel like I could collapse at any moment. I have two children, a house, college courses and a side career in writing that I have really enjoyed pursuing. Those days of feeling like I could shatter do happen. It's reassuring to know that when I'm breaking, there's someone who knows how to help me put the pieces back together. Someone who 100% supports me in all of the things that I set my mind to. And I know, that whether I succeed, or fail miserably, he's still going to think I'm the greatest woman in the world. 

My husband and I are not "whipped," because we ask each other for permission before we go out or make plans. There is a stigma now that I don't understand. A stigma attached to men and women who have a mutual respect for one another, almost as if it's petty and something to poke fun at. My husband and I have a courtesy for each other, and we respect that there are two people in this relationship who need a life outside of our marriage, two people who still very much deserve their freedom (even though with kids, that's a tough one to make happen.) Making plans is not a big deal around our house, because we neither one have much extra time for them, but when the occasion does occur, we have an understanding. We love each other, and with that, we compromise. This is a loving, loyal marriage, it is not a holding cell. Please learn the difference before you criticize what you have no clue about. 

I am not insecure or needy, because I love to do things with my husband - and my husband is not "under my thumb" because he enjoys my company, as well. We are best friends. I can tell him anything, and I do, because I can't think of anything more amazing than hearing his voice. We have a great relationship underneath these wedding rings and written vows. We have so much in common, and we may not always have the same interests, but it's never been hard to share even those things because of our lasting interest in each other. Spending time together is what continues to give us that closer bond. I've met people who say they need a break from their spouse because they feel suffocated, and that's completely fine to need time to yourself. But I'm not one of those women. I don't NEED time alone. I don't mind it when it does happen, because I have two children pulling on my leg all day, but it's not something I go out of my way to have. Obviously, if I did need it, I would make it a priority, but my husband is my go-to, and he's fun. He makes me enjoy whatever it is I'm doing, and if spending my life with him is an insult to you, then you might need to find yourself a new friend. 

My husband and I are not two "off the wall" human beings because we don't bash each other in large groups, or to other people. I mean, sure, we have our fair share of arguments, and some go unsolved. I'm sure there really are days when he is tired, and feels like throwing me away, but out of respect for myself, our marriage and all that we've built together, he takes a deep breath and gives me another try. I'm a wreck more often than not, but he's always willing to help me clean up whatever mess I've gotten myself into. We don't need to tell the world our problems, or air out our dirty laundry to the first person who will listen. I firmly believe that a lot of the marriage issues in the world stem from lack of communication or communication to others regarding your relationship issues, instead of having those conversations with your spouse. I believe that negative public exposure of your problems will not better your relationship. Imagine the hurt, and the anguish that would arise if instead of telling other people, you told your significant other all of those negative things you said when you were angry or frustrated with them. Would you still be willing to open your mouth as easily? It's ok to not always agree, and to not always think that your partner is the greatest thing since sliced bread. We all have days like that now and again, but you should never make it a goal to gossip about your spouse. For better, or worse, remember? 

I don't live my life for other people. I don't love my husband because I'm expected to. I love him because he's everything that I can't be. I love him because he is the father of my two beautiful children. I love him because he makes me feel good about myself when I'm feeling down. I love him because he never stops working hard for our family. Because he leaves early in the morning and kisses my forehead even if I'm still sleeping. I love him because he, with zero doubts, supports my work, no matter what work it is that day. And even if I fall down over and over again, he is still there cheering me on to the next thing. 

Marriage is not simple, it's not easy, and it's not something you're going to wake up one day and have all figured out. But you can choose to work at it everyday, and have a positive outlook. I'm thankful to have such a wonderful relationship. Myself and my happiness are in no way affected by what one person thinks of me or my marriage. 

So, to this judgmental woman, who was shocked by my ability to have long conversations with my husband - maybe, just maybe, you should be less worried about the length of time I spend talking to mine, and start actually talking to yours. :) 

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Rocking out - Growing up 90s and early 2000's.

7 Things - Miley Cyrus

Because let's face it. We all proudly rocked out to a little Miley before she went completely ape shit and decided to swing totally naked on a wrecking ball. 

1985 - Bowling for Soup

Now that I'm an adult, I totally get the one Prozac a day thing. Has anyone figured out where in the bloody hell they got their band name from? Did Debbie ever get to shake her ass on the hood of White Snake's car?

Walk Away (remember me) - Paula Deanda 

This one was a big hit on MySpace back in the day. Yeah, Myspace. A pretty catchy little beat to organize your top friends to... or miss your stupid ex boyfriend to. Whichever one feels most favorable to you. Ahh, memories. 

Listen to your heart - D.H.T

The more upbeat version was always a pretty good song to have on your mix CD for Friday night. The slow version kind of made you want to withdraw all socialization from the world and cry yourself to sleep on the dirty sheets your mom told you to wash a week ago. 

Red High Heels - Kellie Pickler

The song you listened to when you got ready to go out. The song that gave you the high you needed after a shitty break-up. But damn her voice was hella annoying. I think she has her own tacky reality show now. I can see American Idol really worked it's magic. 

The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang

It really freaks my husband out that I know every word to a song this explicit. I was 13, and dedicated an entire weekend to rocking out to the 90s musical/comedy/sorta pop version of Fifty Shades. Hell. Yes. Mr. Coffee with that automatic drip. 

Aaron's Party - Aaron Carter 

We all wanted to fucking BE Aaron Carter in this song. Having an insane, unsupervised party with our friends who break our parents shit. That is, until the parents came home and caught the little bastard. Didn't wanna be Aaron Carter then. Nope. 

Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney 

What happened to his pure, sweet, beautiful hunk of man? He was the cutest! This was the best song. Does anyone remember Radio Disney? The only station on AM that didn't have total static interference. This use to always come on, and when it didn't, I would call in to request it. Yes, the days of requesting a song! Ok, I just googled and Jesse McCartney isn't as cute as he was when this song was a hit. He had his time, though. 🙈

Welcome to My Life - Simple Plan

What is this world without a good Simple Plan song? I swear, even though these guys always sounded like they were singing on an acid trip, they always had something I didn't mind listening to. Especially this song. Because as a moody little teenager who thought the world was coming to an end when they didn't get their way, who didn't feel this way at some point in time. 

That Ain't my Truck - Rhett Akins

This bitch in this song. Two timing this poor innocent guy, and then he's just standing around waiting on her to decide whether or not he's the one she loves and wants to be with. Are you KIDDING me?!?!?! You're actually gonna give her the option to decide! 

I'm Blue (da ba dee da ba die) - Eiffel 65 

...I think we're all still trying to figure this one out 17 years later. (Yeah, it was released in 1999. Feeling old yet?)

Don't trust me - 3OH!3

This was probably the coolest song of summer 2008. We all thought the, "tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fuckin' scared of him" verse was the baddest shit on the radio. Even though, to this day, I have no freaking clue what doing the Helen Keller is. 

Mrs. Independent - Kelly Clarkson

What? The girl can sing! And this song was a hit! I always forget about it, but sooner or later it comes back to me. What better song is there to move into your first college dorm to? Maybe driving around in your first car. Getting your first job, or driving into your first ditch. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Salt Shaker - Ying Yang Twins 

Shawty! There is still NO SONG like the salt shaker song. The Ying Yang Twins meant serious business with this one. If you were a cheerleader, you know first hand that it was pretty well spun into every single cheer mix ever created. 

Candy Shop - 50 Cent

Probably one of the dirtiest songs of my youth, next to The Bad Touch and Barbie Girl. But still, I can't deny I know every word. MTV had the best videos, and this was always one their top hits in the morning. Plus, who didn't like to stare at 50 cent's bod. DAYUM! By the way, he got shot 9 times and survived, so where the hell is he now? 

Me Against the Music - Britney Spears & Madonna 

Who could forget when Madonna and Britney locked lips on stage during this little number. And in that weird video they did where they both acted like they were trapped in a fucking box. 

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne 

Whether it was your breakup, or a friends breakup, this song said it all. Who really wanted their ex to move on? Who really wanted their ex to upgrade? And who really even tried to like the bitch their ex started dating. Avril was the shit. She knew what was up. Well, that is until she apparently died and was mysteriously replaced by a doppelgänger. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I Melt - Rascal Flatts 

The only reason I'm putting this one on here is because I remember very thoroughly, that you get to see a pretty nice looking man's ass in the music video. Google it. You won't be disappointed. Promise. 

Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega

Guys...I don't even know where to start with this song. The true test of how many women you can name off in a single tune. Every time I turned on my boom box bag (YES BOOM BOX BAG!), this song was on. Now, I never hear it. Thank goodness I have trust old Alexa now to play all of these oldies but goodies for me. Who would have ever thought we would go from recording literal mixtapes to whatever song we want with a spoken word. 

Get Low - DJ Snake 

To the window.....to the WALL! Because who wasn't playing this as loud as humanly possible on their stereo? Who wasn't begging their school dance DJ to AT LEAST find the edited version. I actually heard this song the other day, and it definitely hasn't lost it's luster. Gave me my mom groove back.

Tim McGraw - Taylor Swift

I remember I used to get so confused when I would see this song pop up on the TV music channel. Until she started whaling off tune, you know, the way she does, I never knew who actually sang the song. And look, she's come so far. All the way to... oh wait, never mind, she's still bitching about men. 🙄

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix A lot

We can't be friends if you didn't know this song. This song was IT. Literally, because I'm pretty sure he was a one hit wonder. 😂 My anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns hun! 

And last but not least.... 

Back At One - Brian McKnight 

Oh LORDY, LORDY! If you didn't know this song, you weren't living. You just weren't a true part of the generation. The only song that listed reasons (not very legit reasons if you've ever actually listened to words) for falling in love with a person. I'm pretty sure it's been remade about 3 times since I was a kid. I'm not sure why, because of all the songs that could've been remade, I never dreamed this would have been one of them. 

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You get to be broken

When you are broken... you get to be. You are human. You will be broken. 

When you are broken...

You find yourself. You discover that you can BE more, that you ARE more. You find that even your greatest weakness can be used as strength, and you discover that who you are on your own, is so much better than who you were when you weren't. 

You learn to rise above. You will become intolerant of anyone who doesn't treat you with respect. And that is ok. That is perfectly acceptable. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it isn't. When you are hurt, shattered, and aching from the inside out, you gain a new perspective on life. A new outlook. Your eyes are opened to all of the things you weren't paying close enough attention to before. Like your individual beauty, the situations and atmospheres you thrive in, and your solidarity. 

You feel everything, and you will feel everything deeply. Normal sadness will seem like absolute devastation. Normal tears will flow in waves, and the simplicity of pure happiness will seem like it's the first time you've ever felt it. There is no shame in feeling what you feel to it's true extent. When you've bottled up your emotions for so long, there is a strange, but welcome, beauty in brokenness that gives you the power to feel again. 

Things will seem impossible in the beginning; Like a climb you can't find a good enough grip to make. Searching for the harness and safety net in the dark, because the blur that is change has completely clouded your view. The darkness that is losing something you love so dearly, can be overwhelming. But this is only the beginning. This is where your heart, mind and will to fight is put to the test. This is the part when you discover just how far you're willing to go to put the pieces back together, and take back what joy and happiness is rightfully yours.

You will find that you can be angry. Very angry. And It's really ok to be angry in the wake of the sorrow. Its normal. It's ok to ask questions in frustration, and to wonder why. When someone hurts you, you have the right to give your emotions the attention they deserve, as long as you don't unpack and live in them. Sometimes, your motivation to demand answers is the only way to get them. And, you always deserve answers. 

Being broken is a new beginning. It is starting over, and letting go of the suffering. It is taking time for yourself, and seeing the bigger picture. Your future matters, and being truly where you want to be in life is a big part of that future. Loving yourself and the decisions you make is a must. You cannot be satisfied with the goals you've set if you are constantly doubting your potential to succeed. Your vision is 100% your responsibility. You can make it happen, you can begin the healing process. 

You are not someone else's idea of you. You are not what someone else thinks of you. You are not what someone has heard, or what rumor someone has spread. You are not the names that someone calls you. When you tolerate abusive behaviors, and a negative lifestyle, you set the bar for how you want to be treated, and you absolutely DO NOT have to put up with being treated like garbage. Brokenness can make you weak, but you are still a person. 

Sometimes, the love and admiration we are constantly giving to others is the love we need to be giving ourselves. You can be broken, but you will not stay that way. You have no idea the immense power you hold in your own two hands. Heartbreaks heal. Time passes. Tears are dried. Grudges fade. Life goes on. Let it. Allow yourself to find peace. 

You will find what you are looking for. Even if the search takes a while. 

You will recover from the hurt, and endless nights of pain that seem as if they'll never subside. And as cliche as it may sound right now, you will be stronger because of it.

You will do the things you care about again. You will pick yourself up and find joy in all life has to offer. 

You will trust again. Maybe not right away, but it will come. Because honesty and sincerity are out there. You will find them. 

But most of all, most of all these things, brokenness doesn't last for an eternity. At the moment it may feel like such a long road, but you heart will be whole. You will love again. 

It's ok to love again. 

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Dearest teacher, thanks for taking a full plate

Thank you.

Thank for for doing one of the most difficult jobs in the world. One of the hardest. One of the most stressful, but one of the most rewarding.

Thank you for getting up every morning, even when you are totally exhausted from home demands, extra curricular activities and the hardships of life in general. Achieving that positive attitude and determined mindset every single day, because you know that eyes and ears of every age are eagerly seeing and hearing. Because you trust in what you do. Because you look forward to what you do. Because you are amazing.

Thank you for all of the undocumented time you so graciously put in to making learning an enjoyable experience for my children. The evenings and weekend days you spend in the classroom, prepping lesson plans, grading papers, wiping down desks and organizing test packets. So that everything will be spic and span, and ready for my children to walk in the door come that next morning.

You are a parent's biggest treasure. You serve an incredible purpose that not even words can fully describe. You comfort my children when I cannot be around. You wait patiently, and lovingly, for the day that light bulb finally comes on, and that student who has been struggling finally gets it. Those things don't just happen with anyone.

You are a hero, everyday. The world we live in now, almost feels as if nowhere is safe. Worry can easily fill a parent's mind at drop off. But, it is you, and your continuous will to go in that classroom, and protect my children, even when they are not your own. Learning safety procedures, and guidelines because the possibility of the inevitable is always out there. And without a doubt, or a question, you take it all on. Every bit of it. 

It takes a selfless and devoted human being to do what you do - To touch lives in a way that no one can. Your thrill for education is a lot of what keeps this world going. Thank you for supporting the kids who have a craving for knowledge, and spending extra time with the ones who can't help but struggle. For not giving up on the broken, and understanding the fragile. Thank you for a routine and ritual that opens hearts and minds to determination and success. 

Thank you for fighting for a field that is needed. One the world universe would not be the same without. For not giving up, or sinking to despair and finding another career, when an educational budget is so selfishly cut. Thank you for tying that knot, hanging on, and going for a swing. Thank you for staying, as if it ever crossed your mind to leave. 

Thank you for being overworked and underpaid, because even though the world knows you deserve so much more, you continue to love your job. You

Thank you, for not doing it for the money. For your contagious smile in the classroom, because you just never know when that might be the one thing a child needs to see. Your relentless efforts to make life better may be the only efforts a child will ever get. 

Thank you for all of the supplies you buy with your own hard earned money. The crayons, poster boards, decorations, folders, etc. The backpack for the child who can't afford one, and the jacket for the kid who is waiting daily at the bus stop in the brutal cold. Moments like those do not go unnoticed, and those children are never forgotten, and that, is because of you. 

But most of all, thank you for being who you are. Thank you choosing to give the gift of knowledge to others. Thank you for being a kind, loving human being who has a fire and passion for what they are doing. Please know that you are what this world will continue to need. It can never be said enough that you are appreciated. You are cherished and thought about on the regular. I know that you could never be truly thanked enough. But, thank you, for believing in the possibility, and progress of the future. For never letting their be a cap off on learning. For leading, and following when it's necessary. For never hesitating to take a full plate, when you don't think it's remotely possible to handle anything more. But most of all, for teaching - because when you do, you impact lives like mine, forever. 

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For any heart that life is breaking

You can put yourself first. You are allowed to want things. You can prioritize your needs. You can be a little selfish. You should be. You deserve to be. Make it a goal to advocate for the way that you feel. It's healthy, and 100% ok to take care of yourself and the things that make you feel alive. 

You don't have to be perfect. You can be flawed, and messy. You can make mistakes and have setbacks. It's normal to not have it all together, all of the time. Let yourself stop, exhale, and breathe the fresh air a little. If we were all perfect, life would be too predictable.

No one is asking or expecting you to take on the world. Sometimes, a little at a time, day by day, is worth far more than spinning so many plates at once. I know, during all the hustle, we can forget ourselves. We can forget that our well-being matters just as much as the tasks we're taking on. Do not forget, during all the chaos, to enjoy your life. 

Love who you want to love. Seriously. Love is an incredible thing. Be who you want to be. Be original, or be different. Be adventurous and explore new territory. Give yourself the happiness that you deserve, no matter how you have to get there. Sometimes, it takes one hell of a struggle to find your bliss. And happiness is far too rare these days to not own the strength you've gained, and the battle you've had to fight to get there. 

Forgive, but never forget. Shallow people will always try to hurt you. It's a fact of life that only the weak are fully satisfied hurting others. It's not ok to have to endure the pain, but it is ok to let it go. After all, letting go only benefits you. The strong. You can let go, and still remember. Not a soul in the world is going to blame you for the memories you choose to keep fresh, good or bad. Letting go heals you, but remembering is what protects you. "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

We are original. We are not mass produced. No person in the world is exactly like another, and that's incredible. It gives each one of us so much power to do the things we set our minds to. When life is pulling us in all directions, anxiety can takes over, causing a dreadful doubt to fill our soul. But in these moments, what we are feeling is still so beautifully individual. Even in the most difficult times, our struggle is singular. Which means we can handle it all in the way that we choose. In the way that is right for us. The uniqueness of individuality is not just for the good times. What makes each person different, makes them stunning. All of the things that we see... the downfalls, and imperfections, make us a perfectly molded shape of who we are. Who set the bar of what "normal" is? Normal, is different. And different, is good. No matter what that different may be.

Our mistakes, are just that. Mistakes. They are life lessons we learn from. These trials and hardships have only helped us become who we are today. We are where we're meant to be because of the bends in the road we didn't expect. Because of the heartaches. Because of any tragedy life threw at us. Sadness, and anger, can fuel the fire that mistakes create. Be bigger. Destroy any doubt in your mind that you should live in your slip-ups. No one deserves to feel eternally miserable because something didn't go as planned. We are all, every single one of us, muddling through to get it right. And we don't all succeed the first time. The right attitude, and the people will help you to understand that. 

We are all smart. Some are phenomenal with math, calculators and a sheet of paper, and some are simply street smart. Some can live through music, and have a beautiful harmony written in only moments. And some can collect the words of a novel to memory after a single skim of the pages. The beauty of the human brain is something else that makes us unique. What are we good at? You just never know. But we are all great at something.

Words can hurt people. No one is immune. Words can be used as weapons, and work as well as any gun. We've all been ridiculed, and lied to. We've been the victim of vicious rumors and gossip. And we've all, unfortunately, been the culprit at some point or another. But we are strong. Yes, strength comes from fighting for yourself. From standing up for yourself. From not giving in when the entirety of the world expects you to fall to your knees and surrender. Strength is building a shield with the bricks that others have thrown at you. It's coming back an even better person than you were before. And we can all do it. But we can't know the comeliness of even possibility if we don't try. 

Live life the the fullest. Seek adventure, and guidance when it is needed. Seek kindness and love. Seek truth. Never stop asking questions. We are all facing more than meets the eye, and that's not something to be ashamed of. Each battle that we fight, is a battle already won, because we were strong enough to try. This is life, and we only get one. But if we are living it right, one should be enough. 

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