Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Working a double: For the not so stay at home Mom

There have been a lot of blog posts about women who stay at home to mother their children. In fact, I read a very good one just a few days ago about a man who says he can't afford for his wife to stay at home because of all the things she does as a SAHM that naturally, go unpaid. It is most definitely a great read, and it gave me an idea for this post. An idea to do things a little different.

I want to write for the working Mothers. I am currently a stay at home Mom, and have been since my son was born. My wonderful husband has given me the luxury of seeing him grow and change everyday and it has been a great experience for me and for my little boy, who is now almost fifteen months old. But this year, I began pursuing my PHD and was hired at a new job, all the while somehow continuing to take care of my daily SAHM duties. It is HARD. I have been given a pretty clear little glimpse of what it is like for the working Mother, and I want to write for her. 

It takes a wonderful, strong, and selfless woman to be a working Mother. To get up every morning and go to a job when you have a child you really, honestly don't want to leave takes a Mother who is always willing to do what is best for her family. I know that there are some women out there who don't mind going to work and leaving their children and that is perfectly ok, too. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your time apart. Everyone needs that break. But, regardless, I want all working Mothers out there to know how appreciated and admired you are, and how much I think this world takes you for granted, and that is what this is about. 

As a SAHM, I feel like I work non-stop. I feel as if I clocked in the day my son was born and that I'll never clock out, and that's the truth. That is reality, because no matter what, he will always be my baby. I will always be on the clock to care for him, no questions asked. A working Mother is no different. She takes care of her child all night, then gets up, pulls herself together to look presentable and gets everyone cleaned up and out the door to where they need to be on time. She then works all day to provide for her family. When her time there is finished, she clocks out - and immediately clocks into her next job without a single moment wasted... Mom. She never clocks out. She is constantly working to do and be the best she can for whoever expects it of her. And a lot of people expect it of her. Being at a job and under pressure constantly is a lot to take on while you have a child at home who also has needs. It is a long, never ending to-do list, and juggling a life that requires both a career and children can be frustrating but at the same time so rewarding.

After having given up her entire day to bring home a paycheck that sometimes doesn't seem worth it, a working Mother swaps her hat and picks up her child as if she never really left. She is a multitasker and a good one, at that. She is able to totally change her focus to what is most important to her, her baby. That tiny, sweet piece of perfection that makes even the worst days seem not so bad. Even with a job, still being able to come home and cook dinner and get all the laundry done is an accomplishment. I stay at home and there are days when I just cannot bring myself to cook a meal for my husband and son, and we end up in the drive thru at the closest fast food restaurant. So, with that being said, I applaud any Mother who can leave her job and come home totally prepared to start a hot meal for her family. 

I think highly of a working Mother for many reasons. Whether she wants to be at her job or not, she is brave and smart, and doing all the right things for her family. She makes sacrifices each day that majority of the time go unnoticed, but here and now I want these Mothers to know that I notice. I see it. I know how hard it must be to be away from your children 5-7 days a week, and I think you have to have a pretty bad ass level of strength and confidence to do what you do. You put your child's needs first, and that makes an unbelievably good and successful Mom.

I have a lot of friends who are working Mothers, and I hear their situations, scenarios, and sometimes pleas for a life of just being able to be with their child everyday. For whatever reason, they are unable to do it, and it breaks my heart to know that not everyone has the SAHM opportunity available to them, because it really is a life changing experience and I think every Mom should be able to have the chance to do it at some point during Motherhood. 

I am blessed to know some intelligent, compassionate and professional working Moms who deserve to be acknowledge and told they are appreciated for what they do. Their children are going to be so bright and so thankful for having such amazing role models who showed them that a great work ethic and reliability are qualities to be thankful for. SAHM's please don't think that I am leaving your hard work out because I am one myself, as I said before. We work just as hard everyday, we just don't get a paycheck. ;)

So, you can't afford for your wife to be a stay at home Mother, eh? Well, you can't afford for her to work, either. She drives to work, is there all day doing what she needs to do to get that paycheck, drives home, washes clothes, cooks, cleans, takes the trash out, bathes the kids, gets them in bed and then before ever thinking about going to bed and passing out for the night, asks her husband if there is anything else she needs to take care of before morning. That is who she is - always putting others before herself. She is both an at home Mom and a working Mom, and her job is just as difficult. Take her out for a date night, slip  a massage gift certificate into the seat of her car, or just simply tell her how APPRECIATED what she does is. Tell her that her hard work and love for her child is the most beautiful thing you've had the pleasure of witnessing everyday and that you wouldn't make it without her constant efforts. She deserves to know how important she is. 

Sometimes words mean more than gifts, and maybe before she switches shifts tonight, you could find the time to say a few. After all, it wouldn't be normal if her 15 minute break included silence. ;) 
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