Beauty all your own.

Let’s talk flaws, and self-esteem, and mirrors, and not realizing our true beauty even when it’s right in front of us. Seriously, your reflection. 

How many of you give yourself a hard time about your looks? Have you ever woke up, looked in the mirror and thought, “Why do I have to look like this?” or “I wish I could look like so&so.” Have you ever put something on and looked in the mirror and been disappointed because it didn’t look the way it did in the picture, on the model, or the mannequin? That was me. 🙋🏼‍♀️ That was me Every. Single. Morning. I would wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth, and take one passing glance eye roll in the mirror and think, “Ha, not much is going to make that face look decent.” I tore myself apart daily. It was a pretty terrible mind sickness, and let me tell you, it will rot any self-esteem you do have right out of your brain. 

You know what was so awful about that, other than the fact I was pretty much hating myself? I didn’t really know why I didn’t like the way I looked. I mean, I knew I had flaws that stuck out to me, but I didn’t really fully know the legitimate reason I felt that way. Guess what? It was because I was always trying to make myself someone else’s definition of beautiful. I was comparing myself to someone else all the time. I was trying to live up to the hype of the picture perfect skin, the beaming straight smile, or the skinniest body on the cover of the grocery store magazines. I was letting other people, and the world around me, dictate what “beauty” was. It was addicting, persuasive and so, so terrifying. It was all I could think about. Why was I not pretty like her? Why was I not a size 2? Why didn’t I get the perfect jaw line, or the perfect hair I could do anything with. Why why why. Why couldn’t I fit this mold of the beauty I saw around me. The world around us can be so corrupt for self image. Without even realizing, we allow it to poison our minds with frustration, anger, guilt, envy and doubt. Who says that I’m supposed to look just like the model who wore the top I ordered? No. One. Who says I have to have the same body type as her? NO. ONE. But, I allowed myself to expect that. 

Unfortunately, It is so easy to hate ourselves. I know. Sad. It should be easier to love who you are, but it isn’t. We spend 90% of our time critiquing ourselves, and if we aren’t critiquing, we’re criticizing. We are SO mean to ourselves. Would you say what you say about yourself to your little sister, mom, or your daughter/son? No. Absolutely not. It’s that cruel at times. Beauty is so much more than expensive clothes, fit bodies, “ideal” facial features and the perfect messy bun. It’s traits that have been past down over time. Traits that connect you to the wonderful family you have. It’s the strength to carry on when your heart has been shredded into a billion pieces. Have you ever seen another person who has been completely beaten down by life, but still, somehow, lives life to the fullest everyday, always smiling and thinking positive. It’s pretty beautiful to witness such great healing and strength in a person. Beauty is in the way you carry yourself, and help to carry others when they grow weary. Beauty is the smile you gave the stranger on aisle 6 today. You didn’t have to, but the kindness in your heart was beautiful enough to reach out to someone else. Someone you didn’t even know. It’s those moments of laughter and joy with the beautiful babies you prayed so hard for. Beautiful is the uniqueness, and diversity of human kind. We will never be the same - not a single one of us. We may not all agree, or have the same outlook on certain things, but I believe that is what makes us strong, and strength is a beauty of its own. I believe that we all have attributes that make us beautiful. I challenge you to look for your beauty in that mirror you cringe at. Pick out a few things you love about yourself every morning. Embrace those compliments you give yourself. Let them change the way you feel, and open up your eyes. You weren’t mass produced in an assembly line for a reason. 

Beauty is, in fact, a lot of the things you might hate looking at. Often times, our flaws are the very things that someone else finds intriguing. The way the light hits your forehead when you have no makeup on, the dimples in your smile, or the way your cheeks crinkle up during a moment of laughter. Sure, you may not look like some overly edited and photoshopped model, but you look like YOU - and nothing is more important. 

Never hate who you are, or the way you look. Don’t be intimated by negative thoughts of the mind. You can love that first look every morning. You were blessed to look like you, to think like you, to love like you, to BE YOU. Draining yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically, trying to look like, be like, act like, or impress someone else is simply a waste. Love the person you are. Love the beauty you’ve been so graciously given. It’s there, and it’s always been there. You know that saying, “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it?” I believe it. I believe that saying can justify many things, even beauty. 

Hold on tight to your self-esteem, and treat you body and mind right. You are the only one who can. Nourish it like you nourish everything else around you. You deserve the care and concern you’re always giving to others. You are one of a kind, and that’s pretty incredible. So buy the lipstick, try on the outfit, take the selfie. Loving yourself is too healthy to pass up.